Hate isn't a strong word when it comes to this family

I have a new post! I'm trying to keep consistent with this so that I can look back when I'm stressed out during the HSC trying to get a high mark to make my parents look at me like they are atleast trying to care. It's like a diary entry for me only not so private. I keep that stuff in my head and occasionally Priscilla hears it but thats only SOMETIMES!!

I feel so sorry for the new kid on the train! I just can't hack that were being so mean to her. Im worse because I know that we shouldn't be so mean to her because she's a pain in the you-can-be-creative sector. But it's just hard to step out of the mould of everyone else. Let me make this perfectly clear:I am a follower NOT a leader!There is something about her that says "hey, i look up to you so dont screw me up". It's the child like innocence that gets me everytime. It happened with ainsley and now its happening with her. I have a plan for this new kid (who by the way I have renamed the munchkin). I'm going to be nice to her and build up her confidence so that I can teach her the train rules that have been passed down though the generations.

But now I hate my sister!! I know hate is a very strong word and probably not needed. But I HATE her. She prances around like she's the best and that she can control everything, especially me. And then when someone like me screws up there is practically world war three, and of course I'm the one who is left to pick up the pieces and the one who always gets into trouble. But she's got this crazy idea that just because I'm a Christian means that I have to put up with it and just so what I'm told. Like that's all God wants of me, for me to obey her and only her. I have my own plans, my own life and surprise surprise that doesn't contain her.

I don't think she wants me to hate her but sometimes I want to wring her neck. There is the quote from someone I dont know what her name it and its : "If you dont understand how a sister can lover her sister and want to wring her neck at the same time, then you were probably an only child." But in this family there is more wringing of necks then actual love. Its rather annoying.